Why does Santa have 3 gardens? ? So he can hoe hoe hoe

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

? Frosted Flakes

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

? Frostbite

Elf Joke

What do elves learn in school?


The elf-abet!

Christmas is Coming!

Christmas is coming! Are you ready? Ducky's family is going skiing at Mont Tremblant! Ducky's so excited!!! Ducky's been there before and knows how awesome it is. Where are you going for Christmas? Who are you buying presents? What presents do you want? Write to Ducky in the comments section! Who has their tree up already? Ducky's putting hers up today.

Sorry!

I know I haven't been posting and you've probably gotten bored with this site now, as there haven't been any new jokes, but hey! Ducky has been busy! Ducky is trying out for UTS and needs to practice. Nevertheless, Ducky is ashamed.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaa

April 2nd, the last day i posted until now. ducky never has time to post. ducky is working on the great Nerf wars with her friend, the polar bear. i'm sorry everyone. i'll try to post more often.
Ducky is also working on her website: http://www.quacke.webs.com/
visit it!

Bye, bye!

I'm sorry to say that Ducky has to delete this blog along with the Pet Page. It seems that Ducky is moving away, and Ducky's parents are selling her computer! :(
At the bottom there is one final message for you.































Just joking!!!
April Fools everyone! (belated)

Riddle

What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps?

Baby Joke

There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached. While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only person around to name her children was her brother.

When the mother came out of her coma to find she had given birth and that her brother had named the twins, she became very worried, because he wasn't a very bright guy. She was sure he had named them something absurd or stupid.

When she saw her brother she asked him about the twins.

He said, "The first one was a girl."

The mother: "What did you name her?!?"

Brother: "Denise!"

The Mom: "Oh, wow, that's not bad! What about the second one?"

Brother: "The second one was a boy."

The Mom: "Oh, and what did you name him?"

Brother: "Denephew."

Riddle

How many times can you subtract 5 from 25?

Pets

Ducky thinks that there are too many pets for one website. So, as a continuation of Joker Duck, Ducky will make a pet page. Sunny and Scissors will stay, as the original pets, but there will be the rest of Ducky's pets on a different blog.

Random: Did you know Ducky actually has a pet named Sunny? She's also a guinea pig!

Scissors

You've probably noticed my new pet . . . Scissors! And yes, he is a pair of scissors. Have you tried giving him paper?

You'lle be seeing a lot of pets, after all, Ducky loves animals!!!

Eyes

/.......... \
/ .............\
/................ \
\ .............../

\______/

What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells!

Mary Had A Little Lamb

Mary had a little lamb,
A little bread, and a little jam,
A little pie, then a little cake,
Now Mary has a stomach ache.

The Road That Was Crossed

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side!

How did the chewing gum cross the road?

It was on the chicken's foot!

Why did the fox cross the road?

To get the chicken on the other side!

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station!

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the moooovie!

Wait, so why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Because it didn't have the guts!

Riddle

How far can you walk into the woods?

Riddle

There was an airplane crash.
Every single person died, but two people survived.
How is this possible?

Riddle

Pretend you are driving a bus.

12 people get on, then 7 people get off.
27 people get on, then 15 people get off.
9 people get on, then 17 get off.
How old is the bus driver?

Riddle

On my way to the fair, I met 7 jugglers and a bear, every juggler had 6 cats, every cat had 5 rats, every rat had 4 houses, every house had 3 mouses, every mouse had 2 louses, every louse had a spouse. How many in all are going to the fair?

Riddle

You have a dime and a dollar,
you buy a dog and a collar,
the dog is a dollar more than the collar.

How much does the collar cost?

Riddle

What is lighter than a feather, but even the strongest man can not hold for more than a few minutes?

Riddle

A man says,

"Brothers and sisters,
though I have none,
that man is my fathers son!"
Who is he pointing at?